Ben Milstead

Listening, Learning, Sharing

Live Like You Were Dying

I have a great friend, Mike, that was recently diagnosed with a stage four Glioblastoma brain tumor.  Surgery to remove the tumor was unsuccessful and Chemo and Radiation have begun.  Mike knows that the prognosis is not good.

I’m helping with a benefit that will raise money to assist with Mike’s medical costs.  One of our friends ask him if there was anything specific that he would like to see take place at the event.  His response has sent me for a loop.  Mike would like one of the bands to sing Tim McGraw’s song “Live Like You Were Dying.”  My immediate thought was no way.    That was yesterday. 

I had a hard time sleeping last night.  At 4:00, after struggling to sleep all night long, I got up and listened to that song.  I know the song well as I’ve heard it 100 times.  But it was different last night because it is now personal to someone I love.  So today I say that song should absolutely be played.

If someone told you that you were going to die what would you start doing differently?  Would you try to do all the things you’ve always wanted to do?  Would hugging your kids or spouse mean more to you?  Would you be too tired to spend time with those you love?  Would sitting down for a quiet meal with your family take on a different meaning?  Would you make amends with those you’ve wronged?  Would the quietness of the morning or the blueness of the sky mean more?   Would you make certain that things are right between you and God?

Here is the big revelation I’ve had over the last couple of weeks.  Ready for this?  I’m going to die!  You are going to die!  Of course I don’t know if it’s going to be this week, this year, or 20 years from now, but I do know it IS going to happen.  So why aren’t we living like we know it’s going to end at some point?

Mike is going to be fine one way or the other.  He loves life and he isn’t going to let cancer ruin his attitude on life.  He will continue to love, continue to remain positive, and continue to live life to the absolute fullest.  I hope I can do the same. 

July 21, 2008 Posted by benmilstead | Influences | | 1 Comment

Unexpected Kindness

The family and I went to Logan’s Steakhouse Saturday night for dinner.  I love Logan’s but for whatever reason we never go there.  We had a great meal, enjoyed the atmosphere, and all three kids were well behaved (a rarity).  We finished our meal and I ask the waitress for our check.  She smiled and told us that it had been taken care of.  She told us that a man had paid for our meal and the meal of another family that was sitting a few tables over.  That family had a small child in a high chair and that was the only thing that we seemed to have in common with the other family.  Of course we questioned the waitress on who the man was and she didn’t know.  He was sitting two tables behind us and was there alone, she said.  He was long gone.
 I was almost overwhelmed with emotion and I wasn’t real sure why at the time.  It was only a $35 meal but it was so much more than that to us and it was on my mind all weekend.  Here are a few things that I’ve thought about.

1)   The man gave us the gift knowing he wasn’t going to get anything in return, not even a thank you.  He didn’t stick around for the praise.  He didn’t have a “look at what I’m doing” moment and draw attention to himself.  This reminds me a lot about true servanthood in the church which I can’t wait to write about later on.

2)   Why did he do it?  What went through his mind as he was making that decision?  Is this something he does a lot?

3)   Why didn’t I notice him?!?  There was a man eating dinner alone in a nice restaurant at 7:30 at night and I didn’t even notice him!  How sad that I had that kind of tunnel vision!

I want to be more like this man even though I have no idea who he is.  I want to be open to what God tells me to do even though it might not make sense to me at the time.  I want to do things with no intentions of getting any praise or recognition.  I want to be more in tune to the needs around me and the people around me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

June 2, 2008 Posted by benmilstead | Influences | | 1 Comment

If You Don’t Like it, Don’t Listen

I’m a member of a large church.  To say the sound system is large as well would be an understatement.  It would make most rock bands jealous.  It’s one of the many things I love!  I love to feel what I am hearing both figuratively and literally.  But I know that the loud music isn’t for everyone and I used to worry that maybe it was too loud for some.

I hadn’t been a member of my church very long when one morning a couple in their early 70’s came in and sat down in front of us.  They had that “first timer’s” look about them and I immediately started worrying that the music was going to be too loud for their taste.  I had visions of them storming out of the church.  I prayed that the old man’s hearing aid would not blow up!  I was a nervous wreck as the countdown clock got closer to 00:00.  Then I saw something that was incredibly simple but spoke volumes to my heart.  They both reached in their pockets and took out ear plugs.  EAR PLUGS!  Praise God, they…. had… ear plugs!

What’s my point?  My point is this.  They could have moaned and groaned and complained.  They could have written letters to the church, bad mouthed the preacher, stormed out, etc.  They could have put their needs ahead of the other 2,500 people in the congregation.  Or they could just pop in some ear plugs and go on with their worship.   They didn’t come to church looking for a fight.

Growing up a Preacher’s kid, I’ve seen the worst of church members.  Heck, I’ve been the worst of church members at times.  I used to go to church expecting there to be a problem and sometimes creating one.  If you walk into your church looking for a fight instead of looking for God, you are going to find a fight rather than finding God.   Your attitude towards worship has to start before you ever pull in the parking lot. 

 

May 6, 2008 Posted by benmilstead | Influences, Lessons Learned | | 1 Comment