Ben Milstead

Listening, Learning, Sharing

Give Me What I Deserve!

My Uncle Larry and his family were missionaries in Zambia, Africa in the early 80’s.  I was lucky enough to be able to visit them for three weeks while they were there, a trip that still impacts me to this day.   Not long after my uncle moved to Zambia, someone tried to break in to break in their house.  The robber was caught in the act.  They had a big pit on the edge of their property where they threw their trash and then buried it.  The robber didn’t know it was there and fell in it while running away.  He apparently sprained an ankle badly because he couldn’t move.

Larry, with the help of a neighbor, took the robber to the Police.  They had a trial on the spot and found the guy guilty.  The penalty for breaking in to someone elses house was….THEY CUT OFF A HAND!!!  My uncle did not know this and begged the Police not to do that.  But this robber had been caught before and since it was a second offense, cutting off a hand was the only punishment available.  The only way to avoid this was for my uncle not to press charges.  Uncle Larry later said that he could not live with himself knowing he could have kept someone from losing a hand and didn’t.  So my uncle dropped the charges even though the robber repeatedly asked that he be given what he deserved.

The next day the robber showed up at my uncle’s front door, still limping badly.  He told them that he was now indebted to them and needed a way to show his gratitude for the mercy that had been shown to him.  He said he wanted to work off the debt he now felt he owed.  My uncle agreed and allowed the robber to be a gardener for his yard and to take care of the 15 fruit trees they had.

Fast forward several months.  “Henry” the former robber, was still working for my uncle but not for free.  Uncle Larry began to pay Henry from day one and continued this practice.  In fact, they became friends and Larry eventually lead Henry to Christ.   Henry cared for my relatives like no other.  It was a relationship that started with grace and mercy that is hard to find now days.

If ever there’s a prayer I’m NOT praying it’s “Lord, give me what I deserve.”  When you get right down to it, none of us deserve to even be alive.  We certainly don’t deserve to have all the comforts of life.  We certainly don’t deserve to be saved.  By by His grace, He doesn’t give us what we deserve.

June 25, 2008 Posted by benmilstead | Lessons Learned | | 3 Comments

June is Perspective Month

I’ve been on the verge of information overload over the past couple of weeks.  I’ve been exposed to some things that have really messed with my mind and I find myself looking for the message that I’m supposed to hear.  I know the phrase is normally “calm before the storm” but I feel more like it’s the storm before the calm.  I love times like this because I know something cool is about to happen and recognize that I’m being stretched. 

*  Brad posted this video last week.  It shook me to the core when I saw what it had to say.  There are an estimated 1.2 billion children living in poverty.  That is the same as the population of China!  There are 143 million orphans in the world!  For perspective sake, consider this:  If these 143 million kids were holding hands in a straight line, and you got in your car and started driving beside the line of kids at 60 mph, you could drive 24 hours a day for over two months and still not reach the end of the line!  You would have gone around the world three times.

*  My church is participating in the OnePrayer series.  After this past Sunday I have a different perspective on the size of a church (even though that’s not what the message was about).  It’s easy to become complacent when things seem to be going good and your church is growing.  But when you realize how many unchurched people there are in the world it’s easy to get a sense of urgency!  I don’t EVER want to be complacent!

*  A friend of mine, Mickey, is going through something I hope I never have to go through.  His son is in a comma as a result of a serious car accident.  Mickey seems to have complete peace about the situation and knows that God is in control and that worry serves no purpose.  He has been an inspiration to me!

*  Another friend, Mike, is a very close friend and a man that I have always looked up to.  He has a brain tumor that has to be removed on June 25th.  Mike got this news on a Friday and was still at church volunteering on Sunday.  More than 300 men prayed for him during one of our services. 

*  For years, traditional churches have run from technology while others have chosen to embrace it.  One of my online superhero’s is this guy.  I watched this and had to keep reminding myself that I was watching a planning session for a church and not a major television network.  We have come a long way.  Who remember’s voting on whether or not the church needed a used copy machine?  I do.

*  Speaking of perspective, I had convinced myself that I was getting pretty good on the dirt bike because I kept riding with the same group of riders.  That was until I rode with a former Pro rider last Friday.  Seven laps and he was passing me for the second time!

*  And finally, THIS story made me laugh out loud.  I don’t endorse divorce but if it’s this bad just go ahead and end it!

June 17, 2008 Posted by benmilstead | Randomness | | No Comments

One Word That Describes You.

About four years ago I was in a church small group setting and we played a game.  The game was to write down the first thing that comes to mind about each person in the room.  When I started reading the comments about me from the eleven other people, I was a little surprised.  I had: 1 “funny”, 1 “muffins” (long story), 2 “father/dad”, 1 “friend”, and 6 “Clemson/football/Sports”.  That’s right.  More than half of my friends in the room listed Clemson first.

Funny, friend, father, football…. all things to be proud of, right?  Not when you consider what’s left out.  “Christian” missed the cut.  Not when you realize that more people related me to Clemson more than they did my wife, my kids, and especially my God.  What a sad commentary on what I had made a priority in my life.

This exercise made me examine some things.  Although I love sports and Clemson (as does my wife), I don’t want that to be the first thing that comes to someone’s mind when thinking about me.  It’s no wonder it was that way.  I even wore a tiger paw on a neck chain at that time.  I replaced it that week with a cross made of nails. What if I had promoted Christ the way I had promoted the Tigers?  How many times had I invited people to the game but not the church?  How many times had I talked about the big play I had seen rather than the big things God had done in my life?

I’m still a fan.  There is nothing at all wrong with that.  But now it’s what I do, not who I am.

What about you?  How would your closest friends describe you?  How would you describe yourself?

June 10, 2008 Posted by benmilstead | Lessons Learned | | No Comments

Separation of Church and State

This is a statement that was read over the PA system at the football game at Roane County High School, Kingston, Tennessee by school Principal Jody McLoud, on September 1, 2000. ”It has always been the custom at Roane County High School football games to say a prayer and play the National Anthem to honor God and Country. Due to a recent ruling by the Supreme Court, I am told that saying a prayer is a violation of Federal Case Law.

As I understand the law at this time, I can use this public facility to approve of sexual perversion and call it an alternate lifestyle, and if someone is offended, that’s OK.

I can use it to condone sexual promiscuity by dispensing condoms and calling it safe sex. If someone is offended, that’s OK.

I can even use this public facility to present the merits of killing an unborn baby as a viable means of birth control. 

If someone is offended, no problem.

I can designate a school day as earth day and involve students in activities to religiously worship and praise the goddess, mother earth, and call it ecology.

I can use literature, videos and presentations in the classroom that depict people with strong, traditional, Christian convictions as simple minded and ignorant and call it enlightenment.

However, if anyone uses this facility to honor God and ask Him to bless this event with safety and good sportsmanship, Federal Case Law is violated.

This appears to be at best, inconsistent and at worst, diabolical. Apparently, we are to be tolerant of everything and anyone except God and His Commandments.

Nevertheless, as a school principal, I frequently ask staff and students to abide by rules which they do not necessarily agree. For me to do otherwise would be at best, inconsistent and at worst, hypocritical. I suffer from that affliction enough unintentionally. I certainly do not need to add an intentional transgression.
For this reason, I shall, “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s,” and refrain from praying at this time. 

However, if you feel inspired to honor, praise and thank God, and ask Him in the name of Jesus to bless this event, please feel free to do so. As far as I know, that’s not against the law—-yet.”

 

June 6, 2008 Posted by benmilstead | Uncategorized | | No Comments

Things I’ve Recently Overheard Around My House

“Dad, what is a courtesy flush?” (6 year old)

“She’s not my girlfriend, we’re just going out.” (10 year old)

“Bird! Bird! Bird!” (10 month old referring to everything.  The waitress, the cat, the motorcycle, etc.”

“I wish Trey would learn how to walk so I can read books to him.” (6 yr old…think about it!)

“She moves her body like a SIPHONE.” (…instead of Cyclone)

“We go to early service church” (Collin’s response to his teacher when she asked him what church we go to)

“Does God have a cat?  What about a dog?  Why not? Does He not like cats?”

June 3, 2008 Posted by benmilstead | Funny Stuff | | 1 Comment

Unexpected Kindness

The family and I went to Logan’s Steakhouse Saturday night for dinner.  I love Logan’s but for whatever reason we never go there.  We had a great meal, enjoyed the atmosphere, and all three kids were well behaved (a rarity).  We finished our meal and I ask the waitress for our check.  She smiled and told us that it had been taken care of.  She told us that a man had paid for our meal and the meal of another family that was sitting a few tables over.  That family had a small child in a high chair and that was the only thing that we seemed to have in common with the other family.  Of course we questioned the waitress on who the man was and she didn’t know.  He was sitting two tables behind us and was there alone, she said.  He was long gone.
 I was almost overwhelmed with emotion and I wasn’t real sure why at the time.  It was only a $35 meal but it was so much more than that to us and it was on my mind all weekend.  Here are a few things that I’ve thought about.

1)   The man gave us the gift knowing he wasn’t going to get anything in return, not even a thank you.  He didn’t stick around for the praise.  He didn’t have a “look at what I’m doing” moment and draw attention to himself.  This reminds me a lot about true servanthood in the church which I can’t wait to write about later on.

2)   Why did he do it?  What went through his mind as he was making that decision?  Is this something he does a lot?

3)   Why didn’t I notice him?!?  There was a man eating dinner alone in a nice restaurant at 7:30 at night and I didn’t even notice him!  How sad that I had that kind of tunnel vision!

I want to be more like this man even though I have no idea who he is.  I want to be open to what God tells me to do even though it might not make sense to me at the time.  I want to do things with no intentions of getting any praise or recognition.  I want to be more in tune to the needs around me and the people around me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

June 2, 2008 Posted by benmilstead | Influences | | 1 Comment